Homework. Need I say more?

I wanted my next post to be a positive one. One about how kids with ADD/ADHD can focus on things they love, and PROOF that they can. I wanted to show you all something amazing that I'm proud of my kids for, but it's going to have to wait. I just opened my son's backpack and now I'm just frustrated and need to vent.

Sigh.

So we *try* to put these systems in place to help our oldest (currently in 5th grade) not only GET his homework done-which is a trial in and of itself-but also to turn it in. When the principal sent home a letter at the end of last year asking for any special requests for the students, I sent a two page, single spaced, typed letter requesting he be placed in as close to a specific type of classroom so that he could better succeed. I didn't expect perfection. I didn't expect a specific teacher even. I did expect some sort of accommodation. However, it was as if the letter was not received, because they placed him in a classroom with a new teacher (tell me how you have a remote idea of how a new teacher runs a classroom...and she's never taught 5th grade either). I don't intend to complain about his teacher. I know she's dealing with a lot. This is her third year of teaching, and first year of teaching 5th grade, but because of these, it's been a really difficult year for B. The classroom is highly unorganized. Mass chaos reigns, and this is the most difficult environment for him to function in. So after several meetings with his teacher, we finally have her looking at and signing off on B's daily planner (no, she wasn't ever checking them before). But B will tell me certain things mean something different than they do, or that due dates are different than they are, or that he already turned in the work when he didn't...the list goes on.

Well, it's been Spring Break this week at his school, and last week he had several large projects due, along with all of the normal weekly homework he has. We worked for months on a research project. We worked for weeks on a science project (pet Mealworm, anyone?). We scoured over his daily planner. We've met with his teacher. We've emailed his teacher again and again. We've TRIED so hard to have open communication. We remind B daily of what he needs to do. We help him complete his projects. And to no avail...

...another sigh...

I just opened his backpack and read his planner from last Friday.

He:
-did not turn in his reading log (for the last month he hasn't)
-did not turn in his LARGE research paper (he told me he did, and I spent so much time working with him on this, and got him all prepared and ready to turn it in, reminded him morning of, etc)
-did not do any work in computer lab
-did not turn in his meal worm project
-did not turn in four math worksheets
...the list goes on.

I just am feeling hopeless and lost. I don't know what more I can do! I've threatened to come pick him up from school every day, but I really don't want to. First because it's a burden (I know, shame on me) to haul three small children into his school every day, and to drive to and from every day (it's a pain, off of a busy highway with no lights, and about 15 or so minutes away). I have pushed and pushed his teacher for communication to the point that she's annoyed with me and my son! It's so far into the school year that trading classes would be a ridiculous idea (transition for ADD, anyone? No thanks).

At what point do you let them take responsibility for themselves? I know he has deficits, but where does my stepping in stop actually helping? When he goes to middle school, and has several classes, what do I do then? I am feeling so lost. It makes me wonder if I should take him out of school next year, and let him do it at home online. Just so I know he's getting it done without the distractions of the classroom. So that I can monitor what he needs to do.

I know I'm long winded. If you got through that, bless you, my friends. Thanks for letting me spill my guts.

On a positive note, I just got a call from DH saying that B just made his first-ever soccer goal. This is fabulous...he normally avoids the ball because of his anxiety. Sweet!!