Pulling my hair out

Sometimes this is how I feel. For instance, today I feel this way. It's interesting: the ebb and flow of emotions that come with having a child with ADD/ADHD. My son was actually diagnosed with only ADD. I say 'only' and it sounds like that makes it a cake walk, but don't be fooled. It's not.
Maybe it's the fact that we think that our second child has ADHD (we went to an evaluation for him, and I'll post more on that later), or that I'm realizing I may be to blame for my kids having it. Maybe it's that the medication that used to work wonders for B no longer seems to be making a difference. Maybe it's just life compounding all at the same time. Whatever it is, I'm feeling like the world is spinning right now. And it's hard!
B came home with his report card today. Now, I have come to accept the fact that he'll probably never be on the honor roll (but he could!), and that he'll probably not graduate top of his class (but can't he try?), but what I hate is seeing the decline in grades over the past few years. Do I dare say that it's been since he got his diagnosis? And I feel helpless when he brings home this report card. I feel like a failure! What am I doing wrong? What can I do better? But while I try to figure that out, I'll set back and feel like pulling out my hair a little longer, and maybe cry a little tear or two. And yes, he's in tutoring. Yes, we've talked endlessly with his teacher. And yes, we'll continue to fight.

ADHD, a funny

What's living with ADD/ADHD, if you can't laugh about it? Because, quite frankly, this is a pretty common scene around here:

Am I doomed?

So what are the odds of having a child with ADD/ADHD? According to Daniel G. Amen, M.D. (Healing ADD and Change Your Brain, Change Your Life), if one parent has ADD, then 60% of offspring will have it, but if two parents have ADD then 85-90% of offspring will have have ADD. Well, those are some pretty crappy odds, if you ask me. I think they're still crappy odds if you ask Dr. Amen too. So am I doomed? Or, rather, are my children doomed?

So far my oldest has it. He was diagnosed when he was nine. I liked the idea of blaming it on his father. We're divorced...obviously he must have been the problem, right? Well, maybe not. Apparently my second son is showing some serious problems in his pre-school class with high levels of distraction, fidgetation (yes, I just made up the word), and over-excitement. Sigh....here we go again.

Inaugural post

This blog is intended to capture the stories of having a child with ADD/ADHD. The inevitable ups and downs, the questions, the guilt, the laughs, the heartache; in essence, the fury that is ADD/ADHD.
My story begins eleven years ago. Eleven years, three months and 6 days to be exact. That's when my precious little B was born. What a wonder that day was. He was my first and I was only 18, and my OB surprised me with an early c-section because our little B wasn't growing normally. I was scared out of my mind, to be sure. But B was a fighter, and came out strong and sure of himself, screaming like a champ. And it hasn't really stopped. Sure, the screaming comes in different forms sometimes-like out of my mouth instead of his, but this life has been one worth fighting for, and that's exactly what we're doing.
This journal will be one where I share my feelings of living with ADD/ADHD: a life distracted.